forgetfulness, obliviousness, amnesia, lethe

i’ve been working every day for about two weeks now. my life has inverted from being a broke homebody with nothing but time to being a lot more comfortable with my bank account and a lot less comfortable with my home life. 4033 w sunset was filled with love and anxiety while 3220 connecticut is full of friends and guitars. there are at least 8 guitars here and ever since i found out that my computer has an internal microphone, music has been recorded pretty regularly. i’m happy to have people to make music with, even though noise complaints at 5 am make me feel like an asshole. i have no privacy and everyone else drinks the beer i buy. we play scrabble a lot too. my new life isn’t better than my old one, just different. in every stage in my life i always feel like things have changed a little bit for the worse, but as i’ve found out since moving back to dc, with every new situation it’s a lot easier to notice the shit that bothers you and the shit that you’ve lost than it is to actively appreciate what you’ve got.

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i love baseball, especially the national league. the atlanta braves are everyone in the south’s major league team. check it out: there really aren’t any other teams down there.

i’d always thought that living in washington, d.c. would be a temporary thing, but now that i really have no idea how long i’ll be here, i figure i might as well try to get into the washington nationals, formerly the montreal expos. how the fuck am i supposed to pull for a baseball team that just five years ago used to play in quebec and made PA broadcasts in french? it’s like they came from a different planet. it’ll take a while for me to think of them as the hometown team.

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when i’m a dad and i have kids i will take them to the zoo all the time.

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love is blind

i don’t feel lonely. i am always around my friends, which is a great way to live. the thing that’s different about love is how it cuts away at the shrouds and fetters of bullshit in my communication. in the film ‘rules of attraction’ the male lead, despite his bone-head-style masculinity, desperately tries to show his feelings for the female lead. “i want to know you!” she deflects, “no one ever really knows anyone.” i’m not sure if i was spoiled rotten to have known one person that i wanted the world for or if i’m rotten now that i have none. sorry for the buzzkill tone, empty audience.

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how do you sleep at night?

it’s a melancholy life. i can never sleep between the whipping of the wind, the echoing of garbage trucks, and something i can’t describe like despair. so i sit awake until i fall asleep until i wake up several times over.

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“the understandings of the greater part of men are necessarily formed by their ordinary employments. the man whose whole life is spent in performing a few simple operations has no occasion to exert his understanding. he generally becomes as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become. the uniformity of his stationary life naturally corrupts the courage of his mind. it corrupts even the activity of his body and renders him incapable of exerting his strength with vigor and perseverance in any other employments than that to which he has been bred. his dexterity at his own particular trade seems in this manner to be acquired at the expense of his intellectual, social, and martial virtues. but in every improved and civilized society, this is the state into which the laboring poor, that is, the great body of people, must necessarily fall.”   -adam smith

in related news, i am back to work!

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